Why practicing delayed gratification makes everything better

This week your coach challenge is to practice the skill of delayed gratification.

Why? Research shows that when you put in work toward a goal that requires working toward and then waiting for rewards that aren’t immediate is linked with being more successful in ALL areas in life. 

Practicing delayed gratification requires you to manage your mindset. Delayed gratification means eschewing activities that give immediate positive (yet temporary) rewards in favor of waiting for a bigger and more lasting reward down the road. Human beings feel amazing when they accomplish strategic and long term goals like graduating from High School or College, saving for retirement, and buying a house because those achievements are the culmination of long term strategic thinking, feeling, and actions. 

Consider the different effects of two car buyers. 

  1. The first buyer walks into a random dealership on the way home from work. They spent 20 minutes looking at the different car models on the showroom floor. They got financed in an hour.  They drove the car home that the dealership had in stock on the lot. The entire car-buying experience took 2.5 hours. 
  2. The second buyer saved up all the money over several years in order to purchase their expected new car in cash. Every month they set aside the money in their savings account for five years. Each time they transferred the money they spent time thinking positive thoughts about how great it would be to finally buy their desired car. They spent a lot of time considering their options. Thinking about what they liked, and reading about different car reviews, reliability, and safety ratings. Throughout the five years of saving up they had to consistently manage their mind and eschew other opportunities to spend their money on other things. They practiced staying focused. When the time drew near, they researched the different options available and decided on the color. When the day finally arrived, they made a meaningful connection with the salesperson at the dealership to order the car. They STILL went home and waited for the car to be built to their specifications.  Forty-five days later, the buyer gets the call from the salesperson. The car has arrived.

Which car buying experience holds more pleasure reward? 

In this car buying example, one isn’t any better per se than the other. The point is that we get to choose & then plan what pursuits we want to practice delayed gratification with.  The prefrontal cortex of the human brain is uniquely endowed with this ability. Using it to practice delayed gratification is one of the sublime pleasures of being human. I always encourage my clients to choose a pursuit of delayed gratification that resonates with their sensibilities. 

Conversely, when you fail to delay gratification and indulge in easy rewards without working toward achieving that reward, we tend to feel let down. I mean it’s hard to sustain pleasure by eating Bagel Bites and watching Netflix because it’s so passive and temporary. In this year of the pandemic, a lot of us realized that the effort of delayed gratification is still worth it, even when it’s deeply uncomfortable. 

How to practice delayed gratification

Practicing delayed gratification is meaningful when it is connected to your BIG WHY. Connect your pursuit to values and beliefs that are important to you. When you have a match, make a plan. Write out all of the steps required to bring you from today to reaching your long term goal.

Next, identify all of the obstacles in the way. If you want to ride a Harley; but never have before; one of your steps would be to sign up for a motorcycle safety course. Research your gear, and find out your state insurance and helmet laws. Any obstacle you find is turned around and made into a strategy.

Finally, schedule everything into the calendar and then honor what’s on the calendar. Step by step. day by day work toward what makes you giddy with anticipation. 

Your coach assignment this week is to set a long term goal in order to practice delayed gratification. Set up your daily actions toward that end and then just enjoy the heck out of showing up and taking action in service of your highest aspirations. Practicing delayed gratification wires the brain to positively associate your work with rewards. It builds self-confidence and self-esteem. Practicing delayed gratification makes everything better because when you constrain your thinking, choices, and actions to be an outward reflection of what’s important to you, you become the highest version of yourself. 

Do you set long term goals and practice delayed gratification? What do you do?

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Never worry about what to eat again

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I'm Heather Beardsley

I’m an advanced certified weight and life coach who holds a master’s degree in education. I don’t just talk about weight loss; I work full-time as a coach. More than that, I live the lifestyle. My story is powerful proof that the diet industry is broken, and it can and will break you too, unless you are willing to leave it all behind you. We were sold a lie about weight loss that blames the dieter for a lack of self-control in a system that demonizes food as good or bad. That all can stop for you today, too.

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